looking back

Hearing about a friend with the same problem, I revisited my own weblog today. For me it all seems long ago and far away (and it is, since we now live in Sri Lanka) and since last year I realized that so many women near me have had conizations. Including my own sister, who recovered fine! So why did I have to make such a fuss out of something that is almost routine?
Well, there was the diagnosis that initially said 'cancer' and 'hysterectomy' instead of 'pre-stage' or something like that and 'conization'. Plus the horror of being referred to a cancer hospital. But probably more important was my state of mind at the time. Not being able to fully recover from my burnout was the main reason we had moved to the Netherlands in February in the first place. Then the process of the move itself had been exhausting, throwing me back a couple of months. After less than one month in the Netherlands, I was still very tired and somewhat depressed so the worse case scenarios immediately flooded my mind and further drained my energy.
Luckily I feel much better now, both physically and mentally. But realizing that this was not the case a year ago helps putting everything in perspective.